I have contracted some sort of plague of the head. Most likely from one of the unfortunate peasants I ride the rail with. I've often wondered how appropriate it would be for me to spray people with Lysol in a can... I guess the fumes might prove noxious in a confined space. Better I hurtle the full can at their skull across the train car, knock them out, and shove their unconscious body out at the next terminal. Yes that would do.
We all know I believe self medicating is the best way to be happy and healthy. Thus I opened the med. cabinet this morning and took every pill I could find. Unbeknownst to me that among them was a tic-tac and a tranquilizer. So as I drift in and out of a medicinal stupor something absolutely dreadful is plaguing my mind. More important than work, sleep, or even feeling better. Who slipped the breath mint in one of my pill bottles and what did they take? I need a vault.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
words I enjoy
I enjoy using these words at both inappropriate and appropriate times.
blouse
gypsy
banchee
derelict
cahoots
rogue
blouse
gypsy
banchee
derelict
cahoots
rogue
people who make me violently ill
My therapist told me I should have some sort of outlet. After I realized he wasn't telling me to pop by Ross I gave it some thought. Hence, I have decided to resurrect my blog. This time I hope to keep it going for more than 1 week as I am now medicated for the attention problem, I think.
I'd like to commence things with a short and very incomplete list of people who make me violently ill.
1) People who come to work sick. You are not a hero. You are not getting a raise because you decided to infect 30 people with your disease. What you're going to get is blasted by a fire extinguisher down the back stair well and out onto the street. If I'm on uppers you could possibly also get hit in the head with a half empty box of Kleenex.
2) People who use speaker phone in public spaces. Your life isn't that interesting, trust me. This I could tell prior to even hearing your phone conversation.
3) People who reheat seafood at work. I can tell by your pore grease you routinely visit red lobster. In any event - I would rather not have my workplace smell like a seafood shanty.
4) People who walk with extremely heavy feet. During my afternoon power nap I shouldn't be awakened to suddenly feel like I'm in WWII Nazi Germany. Ditch the clogs or lose a couple lbs.
5)People (especially extremely large ones) that take the elevator ONE floor. Use the stairs, please do not bore me with excuses of bad knees, asthma, and back pain - you're fat.
More to come.
I'd like to commence things with a short and very incomplete list of people who make me violently ill.
1) People who come to work sick. You are not a hero. You are not getting a raise because you decided to infect 30 people with your disease. What you're going to get is blasted by a fire extinguisher down the back stair well and out onto the street. If I'm on uppers you could possibly also get hit in the head with a half empty box of Kleenex.
2) People who use speaker phone in public spaces. Your life isn't that interesting, trust me. This I could tell prior to even hearing your phone conversation.
3) People who reheat seafood at work. I can tell by your pore grease you routinely visit red lobster. In any event - I would rather not have my workplace smell like a seafood shanty.
4) People who walk with extremely heavy feet. During my afternoon power nap I shouldn't be awakened to suddenly feel like I'm in WWII Nazi Germany. Ditch the clogs or lose a couple lbs.
5)People (especially extremely large ones) that take the elevator ONE floor. Use the stairs, please do not bore me with excuses of bad knees, asthma, and back pain - you're fat.
More to come.
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